couple assignments due tomorrow and haven't started

recently I've been watching tenniscoats's live performances before bed

we should shitpost more on nina - why do I allow myself to shitpost on soundcloud but not on nina?

why or why not gatekeep?

me n roommate nostalgic about trash angels era

ScubaZ carried my radio show this week - transported me somewhere

why keep consuming and not create? why keep taking and not give (to culture)?

no - maybe you're creating everyday unknowingly

even when you talk to someone, you're creating an experience for them

you don't need to make anything, like anything artistic - you ever know people with just amazing personalities?

interacting with people might be a mode of creation, but there are still many ways we could be passive - you could be in your room listening to music 24/7 or trendhopping 24/7 in bad faith

but there's nothing inherently bad about merely consuming without creating, no?

dream 2 nights ago:

I was with this girl in my grade I talked to like once in the fall

in the sunlight on a porch, sitting on these white garden-chairs

spring ambience, we were comfortable like we've known each other for years

she was flipping through some newspaper

I was curious - I tried to peel loose a paper from her hands

the breeze got in the way and the paper fluttered

she pointed at something from the newspaper

I peered in and saw this image of an orange rectanglular gradient like one of sho shibuya's

I was in love and at peace

You Who Never Arrived

I highkey wanna go to Greece

like Sputnik Sweetheart

instead of "shoveling snow" back here quite literally in the cold

I want to be more intentional, reflective, and pursue more projects, whatever they may be

and talk to more people

I've been thinking there's something cool about a certain ignorance,

like being closed-minded, belonging in a bubble,

or being completely committed to something

probably a truism...

but it conflicts with my attraction to a life of curiosity,

belonging to many worlds at once, which I believe I live by

and I wish to attain this certain ignorance, but I'm also afraid of losing touch with reality (and maybe only people outside know the real value of the people inside)

maybe it relates to why old ideas of honor or martyrdom were alluring to some...

but like pertaining to music discovery:

it's just so much cooler to grow up listening to niche songs you like and be ignorant of mainstream songs

than to grow up to mainstream songs and later dig for songs you like